Here is a list of some of the ways some of the experts have defined this elusive condition that so many of suffer from:
“Codependency is a pattern of behaviors and attitudes that result in an unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship between two people, in which one person is chronically dependent on the other, who is the enabler, for his or her emotional and/or physical needs.” – Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, “Understanding Codependency: The Science Behind It and How to Break the Cycle” (2018)
“Codependency is a compulsive behavior learned by family members in order to adapt in a dysfunctional family system.” – Melody Beattie, “Codependent No More” (1986)
“Codependency is a set of maladaptive, compulsive behaviors learned by family members in order to survive in a family system that is experiencing great emotional pain and stress.” – Charles Whitfield, “Co-Dependence: Healing the Human Condition” (1991)
“Codependency is a set of behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that limit one’s ability to experience a healthy, satisfying relationship.” – Robert Subby, “Lost in the Shuffle: The Co-Dependent Reality” (1987)
“Codependency is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have healthy, mutually satisfying relationships.” – Darlene Lancer, “Codependency for Dummies” (2012)
“Codependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from generation to generation.” – Pia Mellody, “Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives” (1989)
“Codependency is a form of addiction in which a person is addicted to another person’s addiction.” – Terence T. Gorski, “The CENAPS Model of Relapse Prevention Therapy” (1986)
“Codependency is a pattern of behavior in which a person sacrifices his or her own needs and desires in order to meet the needs of another person.” – Janet G. Woititz, “Struggle for Intimacy” (1985)
“Codependency is a complex disorder characterized by a preoccupation with controlling, rescuing, or enabling other people, while neglecting one’s own needs and desires.” – Claudia Black, “It Will Never Happen to Me: Growing Up with Addiction as Youngsters, Adolescents, Adults” (1987)
“Codependency is a psychological condition that results from living with the effects of someone else’s addiction, personality disorder, or other compulsive behavior.” – Stephanie Brown, “The Alcoholic Family in Recovery: A Developmental Model” (1993)
“Codependency is a relational pattern in which one person has an excessive emotional or psychological dependence on another person.” – Ross Rosenberg, “The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us” (2013)
“Codependency is a behavioral, emotional, and psychological condition that manifests in various forms of dysfunction, including addiction, dysfunctional relationships, and low self-esteem.” – Lisa A. Romano, “The Road Back to Me: Healing and Recovering from Co-dependency, Addiction, Enabling, and Low Self-Esteem” (2013)
“Codependency is a dysfunctional pattern of behavior in which individuals prioritize others’ needs above their own, leading to feelings of resentment, anger, and low self-worth.” – Sharon Martin, “The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism: Evidence-Based Skills to Help You Let Go of Self-Criticism, Build Self-Esteem, and Find Balance” (2019)
“Codependency is a relational pattern in which a person becomes enmeshed with another person’s needs, desires, and problems, to the point where they lose their sense of self.” – Ann W. Smith, “Codependency Recovery: Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light” (2015)
“Codependency is a learned coping mechanism that develops in response to childhood trauma, neglect, or abuse, in which an individual becomes preoccupied with meeting the needs of others at the expense of their own well-being.” – Tian Dayton, “The ACoA Trauma Syndrome: The Impact of Childhood Pain on Adult Relationships” (2012)
“Codependency is a dysfunctional pattern of relating to others in which an individual sacrifices their own needs, wants, and feelings for the sake of maintaining a relationship with another person who is often abusive, neglectful, or self-destructive.” – Andrea Wachter, “Getting Over Overeating for Teens: A Workbook to Transform Your Relationship with Food Using CBT, Mindfulness, and Intuitive Eating” (2019)
“Codependency is a behavioral and emotional condition that can develop in anyone who has had a close relationship with someone who is chronically ill, disabled, or has a mental health disorder.” – Melinda Smith, “Helping Someone with a Mental Illness: A Compassionate Guide for Family, Friends, and Caregivers” (2019)
“Codependency is a chronic and progressive pattern of relational dysfunction in which individuals engage in enabling behaviors that ultimately perpetuate the problem they are trying to solve.” – Andrea G. Preziotti, “The Codependency Workbook: Simple Practices for Developing and Maintaining Healthy Relationships” (2019)
“Codependency is a pattern of behavior in which individuals have a strong need to control their environment and the people around them, often to the point of micromanaging, manipulating, or dominating others.” – Allen Berger, “12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery: Avoiding Relapse through Self-Awareness and Right Action” (2009)
“Codependency is a relational pattern in which an individual becomes emotionally or psychologically dependent on another person’s approval, validation, or acceptance, leading to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and self-doubt.” – David Richo, “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving” (2002)
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