Mimi rules – the term we use for the more flexible rules we have when grandparents are around?
Sky came to bed this morning trying to get the time for screen changed to earlier as its now Mimi rules. At first I almost said sure as I didn’t want to struggle, but realized that this is a slippery slope. So I checked in with myself and realized it was coming from a place of weakness not strength. So I said no, and explained to him that we are going to keep screen times and limits the same while grandma is here. I could have done better if I addressed this before grandma arrived, but I forgot and so its coming up as a conflict (but we now have the skills to address it). I enable my compassion and empathy by putting myself in his shoes and realize it must be hard to have a craving for screen and an excitement about a new game he just got. I express my understanding of his plight and suggest that he connects with the feeling in his body. “Where are you feeling the craving?” I ask (not expecting an answer, but consistently pointing him back to his embodied experience). He turns to me and says he is board and he cant even go outside to play because its raining. At this point I realize how correct my decision was to stick to my limits as I can feel the internal struggle to let go of the craving. I look at him and understand his feelings as I mirror how I see him feeling pain around the reality of his situation “I can imagine that its hard not to get what you want when you want it”, I offer support. He turns around and runs downstairs to play with his sister. Staying firm and sticking to my limits was fantastic I feel empowered and sky feels like he has a supportive strong parent that sees him and is keeping him safe.